The Agony of Defeat

This weekend, I volunteered to be the high school Lacrosse team parent representative for their coupon card fundraiser. It’s a good deal really - $20 and you get a whole lot of “buy one get one” free dinners and golfing opportunities. I figured, with my sales expertise, we would at least sell our quota. What I didn’t count on was a little girl in pink pigtails named Lexie.

Due to a scheduling oversight, we were double booked for front-of-store space with none other than the Girls Scouts. It was their last weekend for cookie sales and they were out in full force. Five little girls, all uniformed and ponytailed up, ribbons matching their outfits, ready to do their part or earn their badge or whatever their motivation was. They were supposed to stay across the entrance from us, and their parents did. But the little girls...

Sales were brisk at first. (I believe the Girl Scouts were still setting up at this point). Members of the Lacrosse team would politely ask exiting shoppers to support the team and purchase a coupon card. People would wander up, they would talk a little bit, I would offer a testimonial about the card’s usefulness and that it would pay for itself, and 70% of the time the deal would be closed. Then we were hit with the giant cannonball and before we could recoup, Lexie and her team had taken over.

Two little girls carrying posters, one that said, “Help the Children”, and the other, “Last Weekend this Year”, planted themselves in the middle of the store exit and started yelling, “Help the children!” and “Last chance to get your Girl Scout cookies!” at the top of their lungs. Only it was even worse than that. Not only were they adorable looking, Lexie, their ringleader, had the most irresistible lisp, so it sounded more like this - “Help the childwen! Last chance to get your Girl Scout cookies foweverrrrrrrr”. Lexie got in front of every single person that walked out that door and with her cute smile, would say, “Would you like to buy some Giwl Scout cookies?” People veered left toward the table in droves, leaving my teenagers in the dust. Her accomplice had very large brown eyes, and when people would ask, “Are you selling lots of cookies, girls?”, she would shake her head, look distressed, and say, “Well, we’re not selling very many...” and off to the table their carts would turn. Near the end of her shift, Lexie incorporated a sense of urgency into her pitch. “5 mow minutes to get your Girl Scout cookies this yeawwww”. One of the boys muttered under his breath, “liars”. I thought, “5 more minutes and Lexie goes away. She most definitely has a promising future in sales.”

Then came the second assault. The second shift didn’t have Lexie, but they obviously had a parent with a marketing mind. They picked the two most adorable, and planted them in the middle of the exit with a tray of free samples. “Free cookies!”, they yelled in their sweet little girl voices. You don’t even have to guess what happened. My boys were suffering a complete and total defeat.

What’s a savvy marketing mom to do when faced with such odds?

I quickly reviewed my 4 P’s - people, product, price, promotion.
People - Gangly teenagers, that tend to avoid eye contact, and would rather be sleeping in than standing at the grocery store were no match for adorable and innocent little girls in pigtails and pink bows willing to talk to anyone, and spend an hour shouting a consistent message over and over. On this front, they had us, hands down. Plus, they had Lexie.

Product - Immediate and tasty gratification with an outstanding brand reputation and awareness factor versus a piece of cardboard that may or may not benefit the buyer - whether or not is up to them. They had us here, as well.

Price - $3.50 versus $20. Since we were essentially a point of purchase display, point goes to the Girl Scouts.

Promotion - We had a sign, (that the boys made, so you can imagine its marketing impact), and the boys wore their team attire. They had banners, (that one of the mothers obviously created), free samples, a sense of urgency message, and uniforms & accessories designed to maximize “little girl appeal”. A total and complete annihilation of the Lacrosse team. “Little girl appeal” trumps teenage boys every time. My son even admitted they had gotten to him earlier in the week - he couldn’t say no and bought 2 boxes.

I had to admit, it was a complete and total defeat. We simply could not compete for the same customer. But where to find a different customer? We tried approaching people as they walked in before the girls could get to them, but that didn’t work real well. And then it hit me. Every one of those Girl Scouts had a parent there. And every one of those parents was witnessing the slaughter. The next time one of the mothers wandered by, I stopped her, complimented her on her daughter, and asked if she had seen the coupon card. Next thing I know, I had sold the card. I instructed one of the boys to visit the Girl Scout table, buy a box of cookies and then ask if they would like to buy a coupon card. Guess who came back with a few sales? I told the next guy in line for my shift to hit up the next group of Girl Scout parents. We didn’t need to sell volumes, we just needed to hit the right target.

When your competition is walloping you hands down, (and let’s face facts, sometimes this does happen), stop competing for the same audience and find a different one. Look around you - who is the competition not serving? It is my bet that Girl Scout parents have no desire to eat even one more Girl Scout cookie this year, and that they are really ready to be done standing in front of grocery stores hawking cookies. It’s time they went out for dinner, and I have a fabulous card that offers 2 for 1’s at some really nice restaurants...